girl's talk

wednesday @ my room, restless, and cold

me [01:41:42] : hun, suddenly i miss him so much

dee [01:43:17] : just cry...let your self cry...

me [01:44:37] : then i just realized that it might be a silly thing...you know, i definitley cannot think about anything at all...or whether it is a sort of my stupid emotion or merely unexplainable-repressed- feeling :((

me [01:45:09] : sorry for waking you up...

dee [01:46:28] : i know that feeling very well, trust me, it hit me an hour ago. and i just cried. cry me a river. it drove me insane as an addict withdrew for drugs... that is why i called it sakaw

dee [01:46:57] : it's okay...love to make you better

me [01:49:34] : i used to it, hun....i am totally giving up with this helpless addiction! just gimme more drugs, i have to burst my dosage up!

dee [01:52:10] : be sincere, hun...do not touch anything about it....i know it just a kind a damn superficial theory, hahahaha... it means that you are asking to the wrong person...me, my self has not done it yet...just trying to forget...

me [01:55:37] : almost 2 years! it seems to me that easier to memorize his cell phone number without thinking even if i have deleted it for thousand times. it comes to me and never seem to fading away from my brain...

dee [01:58:28] : do you still remember your 'nemo'? how many year? mine, 7 years addicted! i do not think that it is a brain disturbance or something, it is fine hun...you can deal with that. loving someone helplessly...foolishly...it supposes that you would taste it by yourself...by your own heart...

me [02:01:12] : hun, you are the most stupid person that i ever knew! just like me...wkwkwk

dee [02:04:25] : enjoy the sakaw, hun. it is like seeing your bloods out of your body, drop by drop...hurt, yet satisfying

me [02:08:52] : yerp, unconsciously i've been keeping this bloody pain for long years, then, i do really love to be tortured... sleep tight, hun... see ya in dream :p

dee [02:09:28] : see ya :)

... yet, i do not really figure out what kind of pain within...what kind of bloody feelings that make us love to be hurt anyway...be tough, darla...

you will find yourself laughing and smilling when you remember everything we shared someday...